i just want to write a poem

i don't want to write something profound

i don't want to write another political piece telling you how the government is screwing up 198 ways

i don't want to write another wake the fuck up piece

a do you feel what i am saying piece

i don't want to write about my past present or future

i don't want to hide in metaphors or big words

i want to just write you a poem 

to tell you how special i feel when you look into my eyes

how special i feel that you don't look through me

how i know you can see into my soul

and you take me just how i am 

you don't try to fix me or change me

you embrace me 

i want to write a poem about how your lips feel on mine

the electricity pulsing through my body

how i have never felt so connected to anyone

as i feel connected to you 

when you wrap your arms around me and hold me 

i want to write you a poem to tell you how much i appreciate you

how much i love you 

i want to write you a poem 

to thank you for your patience

i am difficult

but you stay 

i want to write you a poem telling you when you smile at me 

i want to kiss you 

till i cant breath

i want to write you a poem 

but we are poetry in motion

fingers laced together

legs tangled together

we are words left unsaid

poems left unwritten

life yet to explore 

day by day growing closer to you.....

beautifully complicated

i'd write you a love song
but you do not wish to be loved
so why waste words
on something that is not there
me and you are a beautiful illusion
made up of legs twisting together
lips locked
and fingertips reaching out
to bridge the distance
from point a to point b
to bridge the distance
from my walls to yours
together yet apart
you hold the pieces
of my heart together
and in your safety
i fall so slowly
i fall so stupidly
into your lovely trap
and my intuition tells me to run
before point a and point b
get further apart
yet i am reminded this man has my heart
attached like two soul mates
with out the mates
just two souls linked
unable to move forward
and unable to move back
to friendly hellos
back to the safe side of solitude
before things got beautifully complicated

energy

you exhaust me
the way you keep running
in and out of my mind
i need you to stay
to say
you will never leave
me
i need to be weak and vulnerable
i need to run
but my feet won't move
and i am stuck in i love you's
3 words used so often
but you got me feeling like bruno mars
and i would catch a grenade
and self destruct
before i ever fell in love with
someone like you
so cold , so bitter
so heartless
yet i am wrapped up in you
needing you to suffocate me
move in closer and closer
till i can feel your heartbeat envelop me
i need you to take all of me greedily
i need you take all of me
till you have had enough
and that walk out the door
and never come back

fade away

No one can hurt me
When I am inside this house
I have built
Laying there surrounded by memories
Usually full of thought
I just lay there empty
Remember her fingertips on me
Love such a dangerous word
Now it kills me
Thinking you fucked somebody last night
And didn't think of me
Three years and I still can't get you out of my head
Three years and I still feel your ghost in my bed
I want you , even though you rejected me
Made me crazy with jealousy
Then proved my intuition right
When she text me and proved you a liar and a cheat
Yet if you called tommorow
I wouldn't pick up
If you called tommorow
I'd build my walls a  little stronger
So you could never get a hold of my fragile heart
Yet I go back to memories
And they kill me
And I don't think I will ever be the same
All I need are these four walls
All I need is this loneliness in my bones
To finally forget you
but when the rain falls
I can still smell your presence in the air
and I know it will be awhile
Till you fade away

fragments

I sat there while I watched the pieces
Of her soul
Explode
Like ash falling after the incineration
Of her life
I watched as she slowly gathered
Each shattered memory
Tears strolling down her face
As she made her way down
Darkened alley alone
Dying inside
As the pieces collapsed
Inside her delicate fingers
She fell to the ground
Right in the middle of the street
Her grief couldn't carry her anymore
I wonder if it ever could
Why did her mother die
Leaving her with scrapbooks of shards of glass
She used to sit there with ritual songbook
Singing hymns into the night
As crimson soaked through her pants legs
She stopped
I smiled at her broken
Crawled inside her chrysalis
Till I was home
Inside her pain
Waiting to be free again
Yet someone clipped my wings
Before I could fly
So I learned to run
Someone shut me up
So I just learned to speak louder
Scream louder
Channel death into that rage
Speak for ghost and people with no souls
Who remind me how to sing the blues
While we all our paving our own way to hell
Sometimes we lose faith
We sit at 3 pm
Standing in the middle of don't look back
It will get better
And motivational speeches and realize
We are all standing on a pile of lies
Unmoved and unshaken
We learn to survive in grief and darkness
We learn to pen pain at 3 am
While penning that final letter
With our other hand
They say don't give up
Some people already have .......

How would you know

She sits there loudly proclaiming her gospel to the birds
She lives in the park and no one understands her
Through drunken slurs
Her hair is wild
I swear there is stories there
Stories of how she got here
People pass and they laugh
She is hurting
Shoes held together with rubberbands
She runs after the birds
Hair flying madly
As she goes
And she could give a fuck about the world
It turned there back on her
Called her that stupid crazy homeless bitch
Yet they dont know her stories
I see them written in her wrinkled skin
She sips out of a paper bag
Write before she crouches in the bushes
Not because she has lost her dignity
She never had anyone
See she carries these secrets between her legs
The places she knew daddy shouldn't have touched
The reason she is unable to speak or hold a job
The reason she would rather speak to birds then
Deal with the laughing
They arrest her
One cop comments on her smell
The other just comments on her free ticket to a warm bed and 3 hot meals
She speaks in a foreign tongue
Screaming and wailing as she heads down town
Wanting to be someone
Wanting to be misunderstood
Wanting to be human
But she is dead inside
As dead as the birds who have aged and never flew away to safety
Lost and drowning
I pray for her escape..

silent batt;es

She sits there , feeling like the world doesn't understand her
Her body and mind are at war
And she is the one that suffers
The depression left her with no appetite
A razor blade in her hand
The Bible she used to sleep with has fallen under the bed
The clock ticks slowly
And as she picks up the razor blade
Her heart thumps against her chest
The rapid movement burns
Leaving her with anxiety
She hyperventilates
Looking for breathing to go back to normal
The voices in her head
Her only companion left says
Just do it already
She is ridden with guilt
As she rips at her skin
Praying and wailing
Hoping to God Jesus will still take her
As she falls to the floor convulsing
Wishing the room would just stop that
Someone anyone could stop this
The blood drips much faster
She has gone for experimenting
To a full addict
One scars turned into 20
20 turned into 50
75 turned into completely out of control
Now she is begging for help but her lips wont move
Her lips are sewed shut
She can't speak
But her scars are silent stories
The unwritten blues song
The silent screams in the night
Knowing she has gone to far
Yet like quicksand she is sinking
And cannot find her way out
The clock ticks
She is running out of time
Her wings have fallen off
And she no longer wishes to fight
Yet something keeps her here
And she doesn't realize it is herself
Carrying her lifeless corpse to the next chapter
And she can't even see the next page
Cause someone cut the lights to her soul

she left me

She left me
Just like that
No goodbye
Just walked out of my life
And I never felt so alone
As when I boarded that plane
And headed home
Although I had your extra baggage
Weighing me down
You left me with a pocketful of regrets
Things i never said
Like
I really wish you where here
So I could yell at you
Before you died
Before I had a chance to forgive you
Or show you me all grown up
With scars on my fragile heart
That you placed
You left me
Without a good bye
No hand held in the icu
No sad parting words
You left me to hold onto these grudges
Trying to move forward
Morning comes and your still dead
And I am left with things I should have said
And the guilt cuts into me
I never stood up to you
When i was dodging your fist
When I had my hair wrapped around your fingers
Could you please just tug a little gentler
Could you stop hurting me
You passed on four years ago
Take your hands away from my throat
And let me just breath
Please
You left me
I am still here
Needing peace
Sick of waking up in cold sweats
Just to find your presence isn't gone yet
You haunt me
Even though you left
And your not gone
You live in every single one of my regrets...........

ayuda me

Save me 

Before I hit the ground 

Before I give you my heart

Stupid me 

Put it together

Save me 

Before I trip and fall

Let you rip the scars on the wall

And tear down these walls 

Save me 

Save me from talking to myself

From sleeping alone 

Hugging the pillow alone 

Cursing it cause it doesn't even smell like you

Save me for crying floods 

And save me from getting attached to the warmth of your body

The sting your lips place on my soul 

As they brush mine 

Save me 

Numb me

Leave me with my walls colliding around me

Be my earthquake , my turmoil

My ten step program

My addiction 

Take the knife and rip my heart out

So I don't have to deal with the anticipation 

Freezer burn from your cold shoulder

Leave me with the ghosts of memories

That haunt me with dripping desires

Till I blink back tears of aloneness

Wishing you where here .....

Silent battles

She sits there , feeling like the world doesn't understand her
Her body and mind are at war
And she is the one that suffers
The depression left her with no appetite
A razor blade in her hand
The Bible she used to sleep with has fallen under the bed
The clock ticks slowly
And as she picks up the razor blade
Her heart thumps against her chest
The rapid movement burns
Leaving her with anxiety
She hyperventilates
Looking for breathing to go back to normal
The voices in her head
Her only companion left says
Just do it already
She is ridden with guilt
As she rips at her skin
Praying and wailing
Hoping to God Jesus will still take her
As she falls to the floor convulsing
Wishing the room would just stop that
Someone anyone could stop this
The blood drips much faster
She has gone for experimenting
To a full addict
One scars turned into 20
20 turned into 50
75 turned into completely out of control
Now she is begging for help but her lips wont move
Her lips are sewed shut
She can't speak
But her scars are silent stories
The unwritten blues song
The silent screams in the night
Knowing she has gone to far
Yet like quicksand she is sinking
And cannot find her way out
The clock ticks
She is running out of time
Her wings have fallen off
And she know longer wishes to fight
Yet something keeps her hear
And she doesnt realize it is herself
Carrying her lifeless corpse to the next chapter
She can't even see the next page
Cause someone cut the lights to her soul

smile

I tried to reach you

Tried to feel you 

But my fingertips 

Just brushed the air

I tried to reach for you

Yet you where not there

And i didn't leave a message

Cause beds don't have answering machines

Saying get back to me

I need you to vacate the other part

Yet not enough to admit 

I need you

I need your aroma to flood my senses

Till I am breathing in you

I need you

Your arms 

Your arms 

Are missed 

Miles apart

Yet you hold my body hostage

Memories flash through my head

Yet I cannot reenact these scenes alone

I wake up 

Anticipating your arms yet 

They are not there

I am left alone

Knowing you are there

On the other side

Of wanting too

Wanting me 

My heart falls to the ground 

You pick it up

Put it back in its place

It's not time to give you that to you yet

You lift my head up

Place kisses on my forehead

You look into my eyes as if your lost in a trance

You remind me to smile

You remind me that some one likes these broken parts

I no longer wish 

Cause I know one day i will be right where I am supposed to be

Till then I will bask in the rays of your sunshine

Letting it warm me as I walk away

Surviving another rainstorm ............

Seasons Of Love

A baby cries into the night
Unaware of its surroundings
It reaches out
Snatching winter
From its cold grey funeral
Bringing in spring slowly
Colors fly past him in blurs
His eyes adjust
Flowers bloom
New love does too
People dream
And winter is forgotten
Life awakens from hibernation
The baby adjust to the world
Summer begins
Temperatures rise
Fire works go off
Then they die
Baby explores all the firsts
Lovers quarrel and make up
Wish upon stars and dream for better days
Bills get tight
Yet they aren't giving up
Getting lost in the simple pleasure of summer
They don't see the leaves change
Their side of the bed get further away
Distance and as quickly as trees end up baren
So do souls
The baby has grown used to the cold
As autumn wizzes by
Snow flakes hit the ground
The lovers do not speak
As they descend six feet under into hibernations
There arguments rattle windows worse
Then trains and busses passing by
Life is going so much slower
You can almost hear funeral durges in the air
Love is on vacation
Only making guest appearances at holidays
A baby turns one
As winter slowly surrenders
Lovers cum out of hibernation
Bitterly look at all the growth around them
Realizing they are standing still
There hearts have been taken over by hate
They will not savor the milestones
The things they have endured side by side
Yet look at everything that has brought them to this season of loss
won't recognize this beauty
they wont spring forward
but fall back into winters grave
never to remember the light again.......

Time stopped

Like hands of a clock

Moving backwards

Time has stopped

No longer do we live for the moment

Savor it sweetly 

We rush it along

Cause we have too much to do

And no time

Time has gone missing like mailboxes

Ya you can find one

Yet they are gonna be attached to your pc or laptop

Usually belonging to a browser

Or attached to our damn cellphones

Cause when does anyone really have time to talk to anyone

We would rather text down a busy highway

And put everyone else's life in jeopardy

See we are on borrowed time

So we jack other people's time make it ours

Living in the moment is so much different then living reckless

We use our words as bullets

Damn near killing everyone in a 5 mile radius

And that is how we keep it real

By being dangerous and reckless

Yet time stoppped

Got overworked by instant gratification

See we just keep finding ways to make things quicker

And we wonder why 

No one wants to spend any time with us

It's cause time is dead

Something that is supposed to be endless

Has short fused

We simplify things

Taking the easy way out

To save some time

Yet time stopped

Sick of spending 24 hours

Rushing your kids to school

Then soccer practice 

Baking cupcakes for the school bake sale

Then going home and making dinner

Just to be told no one will be eating cause it took to long

Then we wonder why we have a nation of adhd babies

Who's attention span is haywire

No one can be controlled 

Since time stopped

Sick of working double time

No paid vacation and no sick time

We abuse time

Scream at it when a loved one dies

It wasn't their time

We hold onto people

We don't even spend time with

I know grandma was 90 but i loooooved her

pppppppppppplease

i know i didn't spend anytime with my boyfriend

But he shouldn't have cheated on me

We blame time like we blame God, the government and our parents

Putting our faults into one of the four categories 

Sometimes all of them 

Till our responsibility 

Ends up in a casket

Burried deep into the ground

We plan funerals everyday

For things we should have spent more time with

Our jobs

Our kids 

Our relationships

Money

Yet time stands still waiting to go back to time 

When we at least had time to breath

When things where slower

Yet like the hands of a clock 

You can't rewind time

And like a dead battery 

There is no reviving this isn't energizer 

This isn't a dress rehearsal and you can't redo life

So I guess we just need to make more time

More time to :

Live in the moment

Love

Breath

Appreciate the world around us

Before our time is up

Before the ticking stops

Before our heart stops

 Because I would rather live a life of fulfillment

Then be responsible for making time stop

Grind

 Never has real life mirrored paper
BLANK
I have no thoughts
Cause they all seem to be borrowed
BLANK 
Like my bank account
Been unemployed four months now
And I am still grinding
Small insignificant me
Never except hand outs
Always cost something
So even if all four tires are flat
I am still grinding 
Hitting pavement
And I am still going
Fly past ghosts in the night
Fly by old churches where i lost my faith
Fly by people who said who would be there for me
And I am BLANK
Yet my mind is so full of questions
Some days I feel like I am having existential debate
With the devil
And the only time I feel good
is when I live in these letters
They form words
Which form sentences
And since I have been sentenced to this life
I must be blessed
Cause I am still grinding
Pulling myself out of almost's
Almost homeless
Almost mental
Almost there for me
Almost visited me in the mental hospital
Almost figured out who my real family is
And the only time I feel at home
Is when I pick up a mic
And the only time I feel alive
Is when I write.....
So I can't give up

I wanna be in love

I  wanna be in love
Not Taylor Swift lyrics
kind of love
I wanna be in 3d love
Imax , big screen tv kind of love
No words can express this
Kind of love
Tears shed
Waiting to fill the other side of the bed
kind of love
I wanna be in love
Not Artificial candy hearts
Only on Valentines day kind of love
I want my socks to literally be knocked off
While I get actually swept off my feet
getting that kiss you know
the one that make you lift
just one leg slightly
I want to know what love is
I want to feel it in every fiber of my being
I want to grow old
Then decompose
and watch the flowers grow above our side  by side plot
kind of love
i want to birth a future of poets and lovers and dreamers
kind of love
i want to bring back motown , jazz and the blues kind of love
i want to that gut wrenching
sickening sweet kind of love
that gives you a cavity and makes you want to puke at the same time
i want to get dizzy floating on cloud nine
that i fall from the skies
and hit cupid on his head
and make him fall in love too
But first i want to fall in love with myself
before i even fall for you

Customized God

 I wonder if people make their own God
Kinda like build a bear
Cept instead build a God
Assemble pieces of the Bible
To make it fit for them
The new God
Will come with a lift kit
So he will always appear
To be levitating
Over your own shit
Can bail you out of jail
Will look at your problems
Ten times more important
Then all the meaningless
Stuff going on in the world
The new God won't watch the news
Yet will save you 10 percent on your car insurance
Get that dead beat husband to pay back child support
Find ways to talk the cop out of that speeding ticket
Cause you are a child of God fearfully and wonderfully made
So you wouldn't speed right
If you created a God
Placed up signs in protest
Didn't even ask his opinion
Promoted things he doesn't stand for
How would he feel ?
Knowing your endorsed his name
Make him the spokesperson
For hate
Place evil into the center
Of the epitomy of peace
I mean by now
You have thrown out the Bible
Lost Him in your own translation
Of who you needed God to be
The world will never know Him
Because we keep using it as an excuse
We pass out that name
Like school nurses diagnose adhd
Yet I know one thing
If we could customize God
He wouldn't have sent Jesus
To die on the cross for all these sins
We didn't commit
If we could customize God
We would be more powerful then Him
We would be God
Yet then we wouldn't need God
See we could try and customize Him
Yet it would be pointless

DNA Fragments

If it is true what the say about dna
I have half a crack addict
and the other half of me is made up of
A vietnam vet
With ptsd
An addiction
To be loved
With gypsy feet
I run from anything
To do with love
Yet I will read any book
To fix myself,not the enviroment
The inner hypochondria in me
(Thanks mom)
Tries to diagnose
While my dads side
would rather tough it out
gestures middle fingers to the world
cause we all know
those peace loving hippie days are over with
I am both childlike like my mother
Who never took responsibility
For any of short comings
Rough and rugged an old soul like my father
I am all their flaws bundled up
Into my own disaster
Yet even though I share dna
Every part of me tries to break away
To break the strand
To break the cycle
I'd rewrite the story
Yet you can't rewrite this crazy out of it
The similarities scare me
See mom and dad
Cut the ties when I was two
Sent me into cruel world
To fend for myself
A foster kid till I was 3
I don't know how I share these traits
Yet it is in me
I can't run from it
Disguise me
They say you share your dna
I think that is b.s.
I think one day
You wake up
Realizing you can do better
You wake up
Find that unique difference
In your genetic makeup
Maybe one day I won't notice
Their flaws
The way my face wrinkles
Like my mother
Maybe I won't isolate the world
Like my dad
Maybe I will open my mouth
Speak only to those
That motivate me to write
The outcast
The people born into families they don't even belong to
We can live in our own land of misfit toys
Yet we will be the misfit kids
Instead of being looked on because of our flaws
We will shine like the sun
And embrace our presence in the world....

on the floor

I may seem innocent
Yet tonight I want to be bad
Why make it to the bed
I want to bang on the floor
Screw planning
Candles and music
Rose petals and baths drawn
Fuck massages
All a waste of time
I want you to fuck me
Dirty and nasty
I want you to
Do me on the floor
Your wasting time
I am dripping wet
I need you to fuck me
No foreplay
No four course meal
I am in a hurry
I'll even  keep on the heels
I just need you inside me
Deep porno pounding
Thrust synchronized
To racing heart beats
Beat this pussy up
While you pull my hair
I dont care
I just need you
On the floor
Rug burns
Yet we still want more
Deeper ,harder, and faster
I don't want talking or love making
I want fucking on the floor
Can I get more
Bang me up against the door
Once more before you leave
Just fuck me
Like the world is gonna end
If you dont cum one more time
Lick , bite and suck one more time
Ride and grind inside
Till you feel my walls close in
Around your dick
Right before the toe curls
Screams and moans
Before I lick you clean
Then cuddle you right on the floor
That fleeting moment of romance
In the aftermath
Where you wrap your arms round me
Staring out the sky light
Wrapped up in eachothers nakedness

I am

I am that annoying kid
Nobody understands
Loud outburst
Fits
Can't control my temper
I just want to punch somebody
A wall will do
I am the one that stands out loudly
Like won't he just go away
Won't she just vanish
I am the homeless man
Thrown off a bus for smelling funny
I am loud pop stars trying to make their
Outside look pretty
Yet there inside is ugly
I am hair weaves
I am spray on tan and silicone
I am the outcast
The strange looks
The whispers behind the back
I am silent cries in the night
Holding a razor blade
 To make it all stop
I am dank weed smoke
To chase ghosts away
I am creativity stifled by ignorant fucks
I am that freshman in highschool
The new person in town
I am everything right with the world
No second chances
Cause I can't buy a loan
On expired happiness
I am still holding onto that red balloon
Obliviously that my two feet aren't on the ground
I am fed up with the government
Yet I refuse to speak up
I am that mother in the welfare line you called a crack addict
When in reality I am homeless
I am humanity's funeral
I am killing my own kind
With every know hate crime known to mankind
Corporate Civil war
Silence the masses with toxic sin
So they can make us pray to their"god"
We can't even get peace of mind
Not even at christmas time
I am baby's dumped in dumpsters
Toilets and the side of the road
I am the cruel harshness of the world
Waking up knowing no one will ever give a  fuck
So why give a fuck about ourselves
I am lazy and self absorbed
Shy and disillusioned
I am hypocrisy
Golden rule thrown down the toilet
As we sit and watch everyone
Rob , steal and kill our little bit of heaven
I am suicide
Not screaming for help
Just can't take it anymore
Sick of shelling out money
To fund research for things
That should have been cured years ago
I am instant tv dinners and fast food
I am eyes bigger then the plate
Complaining while families
Are fighting for food and shelter
Down the street
I am America
I am wallstreet
All walks of life who
Wont unify
Cause of germs
We don't want to rub off on each other
Yet we don't want to be ourselves
I am multiple personality disorder
Schizophrenia and anorexia nervosa
Racism and homophobia
I am resurrected into some
Bride of Chuckie media monster
Love child of lindsey lohan and lady gaga
I am originality
Duplicate prints available at your local walmart
Clean up on aisle four
Total mental breakdown
Send us all to betty ford
Put draino in our coffee to slow us down
We haven't slept in 2 weeks
Since we found twitter
I am a survivor
Running up this hill called life
Unmoved by anything that would
Try and defeat me
I am
Pieces of a whole lot of nothing
Trying to hold it all together
Without snapping .......

Still I fight

Your a bastard
Son goes in for a hug
Boot into the stomach
He looks up
Tears in 2 year old eyes
Speaking with out words
I wish I could tell her to stop having kids
Yet she has another on the way
She despises him cause
He looks like his deadbeat dad
He is paying the missing  child support check
With bruises and a broken spirit
He will never heal from
Now he feels unwanted
He doesn't sleep at night
Not cause of the monsters under the bed
But the monster inside of his head
Somewhere a six year old boy
Is being tucked into his final resting place
His murderer is his mom
Yet we won't know that for three days
He spent his last week sick
Sore throat
He spent his last days
Not knowing he was on his way
To heaven
He had his life ahead of him
His mom took it away
She cries she just wants to die
I just wish he could of lived
He had the same birthday as me
Cue back in on knocked up mom
Sitting at the bottom of the stairs
Gash in her head
He said he wouldn't
Now she's in labor
3 months early
She and the baby
Won't make it through the night
Let alone make it out of ICU
Two doors down a baby
Fights for her life
Her daycare worker shoved
Soiled  baby wipes down her throat
He sits in jail
While mother fights to keep her eyes open
She doesn't want to miss anything
Her fingers clenched to the call button
Four blocks away
A baby is being rushed to the hospital
Crack addict mother drugged him
Threw him out the window
Neighbor catch him
Dialed 911 with shaky hands
Kept composed as she asked for help
Kept composed even though she wanted to strangle his mom
Police stand off two doors down
Crack addict bitch didn't make it
Shot 13 times
To many sudden movements
I sit and stare at the sky
Past scars sit there and haunt me
I have flash back and demons
That could fill endless numbers of notebooks
Houses I've  been thrown out of
A heart that never heals
Love misrepresented
Faith shattered by misrepresentation of jesus
I am still afraid of the dark, loud noise and confrontation
I have live behind these walls as a victim for 29 years
Silently
Yet I am alive
Very much and I can't sit here
Watching another child die
In the hands of someone they trust
I was neglected and abandoned
Thrown away and fought for my life
Yet I survived
They did not
So still I fight............

Obsessing over you- A Remy, Mija , Fab collabo

**Remy**

I don’t love you
I love you
I want to tie you up to my bed
And ride you
Deprive you
Make myself comfortable
While I twist on you.
I have been watching you for some time now,
I have been trying to figure out how
I don’t want to love you or to be in love with you
I just want to sin with you
Take you away from your wife
Make you forget your life
Just so you can
Stroke me right…
Hold me tight
Only for one night
Please don’t fight
I just want to sex you
Flex with you
I need you have to have
Snatch you up and grab you
I lust for you
Just for you
Make my dreams come true
For a moment or two
I don’t know how to love
Never really cared for it
I just want you between my thighs
So you can adore it
Mi amor it
I don’t want happily ever after
I want you to be my ass clapper
For this chapter
It doesn’t matter
Make it splatter.
You said you like it wetter
Trust me I am better
I can make u forget her
I just want to kiss
I am your mistress
Never to be dismissed
Please don’t resist
Just let me have you for this moment
Yes…just like this….

 **Mija**
yes... i love your kiss.

but i hate your wife and kids.
but i love to see you happy...
it feels like narcotic bliss...

but while your wife was out at fitness..
your cousin saw your hit this...
and now he is a witness...
but i told him if he ran his lips
then i would leave him kidless..

but even a soul scorn as mine
can't put a hit upon a kid
but i wasn't takin' chances...
so i left his head split..
had him buried in a pit...
leaking a sickly, slow drip....

see how much i love you?
now your wife won't know,
unless you let guilt show...

...what's this i heard about me being just some "hoe"?
i thought...
... i thought...

DO YOU KNOW... HOW HARD I'VE FOUGHT?

you... you said you cared...
and for rejection... i am quite... ill-prepared...

**Mizz Fab**
and i am ill mentally
psycho
deranged
fifth of vodka
and i am traveling
down an abandoned road
mudd caked stillettos
dress dripping in blood
and i am draggin a shovel
what have i done
i loved you
past seduction
past candle lit dinners
fuck all that and fuck you
what am i going to do
i am already in hell
and i am running out of liquor
colapse in the middle of the highway
praying death will come quicker
convulsing and shaking
tears flood out my eye
my stomach is in nots
and i see you standing over me
but you are ghost
invading my concious
and i have to live with these regrets
i have to live
with these nightmares
and you took a piece of my soul
as i took your life
and now i lay in solitude
holding onto sanity
and the voices wont shut up

Destroying Angels

Where were you
When they were destroying angels
Clipping wings off of them
Before they could form sentences
Before they could eat solid food
Where were you when they traded
Elementary school backpacks
For lip smackers and short shorts
Tuck them into bed with stories
Of safety
While you watched lullabies of war on tv
When did we get so obsessed with money
When did we get do obsessed with violence
We would ignore the cries of angels
As their wings got separated from flesh
We are ripping innocence
From them , like baby teeth
Learning to suck up spilled milk
Cause it cost too much to clean it up
A bruise , a broken bone
A trip down the stairs
A walk into the door
She's so clumsy
Hoping to god she don't walk away
18 with a gun in her hand
Cocked to her head
Cause all she wanted to do was
Shut people up
Yet mama is a drunk
Daddy's too busy dodging beer bottles
When he comes home from destroying other angels
She just wishes she could of told them
Before she found smack
Found jesus
Found smack again
Then took 12 steps to find Jesus again
She had told them
That even if angel wings are ripped off
They can still fly
A little
She puts down the gun
She paces back and forth
She's twenty stories up
She cries into the night
She jumps

Love Train

I was headed to the subway
I was headed to the pathway
I was headed to the stairway
through mazes
through tunnels
Anyway I could get
I was being sent messages
Some force was pulling at me
My senses where telling me
If I just follow the yellow brick road
I'd find everything I ever looked for
At that moment
All I needed was unclear
Yet my legs couldn't stop moving
Faster through fields
Faster uphill ,through winding mountains
Heart burning, beating in anxiety
I traveled through the forest deep
Till I was alone with my thoughts
I collapsed in exhaustion
Screaming to the heavens
As if begging them
To reveal their mysteries to me
The loneliness sank in
As I lay their cold
Shut off completely
That's when I felt him
I felt him strong as the wind
Circling around me
Strong as the heart beat in my chest
I lifted my head
He was dark , almost shadowy
Almost abrasive but as soon as
His hand reached out for mine
I knew trust
Heart still beating
The sun beamed down on me
I felt embraced by this stranger
He spoke poems without speaking
He healed with out potion
My emotions whirred
Then slowed down
He was a mind whisperer
In his calm
Pieces fell together
In his calm I felt at home
He was taking me to find love
It wouldn't be easy
10,585 days had decomposed my structure
I was an abandoned ship
Yet I felt the transformation
As we moved faster nearing our destination
we traveled days and nights
On bus , on train and plains till
We drove a rental car to philly
And he showed me love
The sculpture was just that but
With the whirring and hums of passing cars
I blocked out the world
Till I could only love myself
And when I could only hear my heart beating
I looked up and the shadow man
Had disappeared................

She

She died last night
Fell into the shadows
Never to speak again
She never exist
At least to them
An out cast
Trying to paint sunshine
With black
She wished for color
But she is dead
And lives in shadows
She stopped breathing
All those hateful things
Ate her alive
And she believed it
Built a house out of those lies
And let the walls
Crush her bones into dust
So she can start again
But she will never see the sun rise
She is too focused on this darkness
To find her true skin
She lives in me
She lives in you
Connected
Through broken homes
Broken spirits
Lies and deception
That knife in her back belong
To you and me
We feel the sting
Now we must heal her
She is a candle flicker
We must  bring her to the light
She is looking for acceptance
In a world that has put a toe tag on her
Labeled her as dead
Silenced her voice
Pushed her inside herself
Yet one day she will roam free
Her sunshine will be bright purple
And she will feel a hundred
Hands heal her
Heal her with words
And she will know
She was put here for a reason
\And as her lungs fill
With the most amazing air
She hugs her chest
Smiling
Staring at the sky
She heres the world
Around her
Trying to push her
Six feet deep
With renewed strength
She paints herself in the universe
Allowing herself to truly exist
Moving full speed ahead
She is truly alive today
She is no longer a victim
She is no longer death
Traded the black
For rainbows
She no longer exist in
Tombstones
She's in love with the sky
Moving light speed
She's lives to tell her story
She lives so someone else wont die....