Tuesday, May 31, 2011

DNA Fragments

If it is true what the say about dna
I have half a crack addict
and the other half of me is made up of
A vietnam vet
With ptsd
An addiction
To be loved
With gypsy feet
I run from anything
To do with love
Yet I will read any book
To fix myself,not the enviroment
The inner hypochondria in me
(Thanks mom)
Tries to diagnose
While my dads side
would rather tough it out
gestures middle fingers to the world
cause we all know
those peace loving hippie days are over with
I am both childlike like my mother
Who never took responsibility
For any of short comings
Rough and rugged an old soul like my father
I am all their flaws bundled up
Into my own disaster
Yet even though I share dna
Every part of me tries to break away
To break the strand
To break the cycle
I'd rewrite the story
Yet you can't rewrite this crazy out of it
The similarities scare me
See mom and dad
Cut the ties when I was two
Sent me into cruel world
To fend for myself
A foster kid till I was 3
I don't know how I share these traits
Yet it is in me
I can't run from it
Disguise me
They say you share your dna
I think that is b.s.
I think one day
You wake up
Realizing you can do better
You wake up
Find that unique difference
In your genetic makeup
Maybe one day I won't notice
Their flaws
The way my face wrinkles
Like my mother
Maybe I won't isolate the world
Like my dad
Maybe I will open my mouth
Speak only to those
That motivate me to write
The outcast
The people born into families they don't even belong to
We can live in our own land of misfit toys
Yet we will be the misfit kids
Instead of being looked on because of our flaws
We will shine like the sun
And embrace our presence in the world....

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

on the floor

I may seem innocent
Yet tonight I want to be bad
Why make it to the bed
I want to bang on the floor
Screw planning
Candles and music
Rose petals and baths drawn
Fuck massages
All a waste of time
I want you to fuck me
Dirty and nasty
I want you to
Do me on the floor
Your wasting time
I am dripping wet
I need you to fuck me
No foreplay
No four course meal
I am in a hurry
I'll even  keep on the heels
I just need you inside me
Deep porno pounding
Thrust synchronized
To racing heart beats
Beat this pussy up
While you pull my hair
I dont care
I just need you
On the floor
Rug burns
Yet we still want more
Deeper ,harder, and faster
I don't want talking or love making
I want fucking on the floor
Can I get more
Bang me up against the door
Once more before you leave
Just fuck me
Like the world is gonna end
If you dont cum one more time
Lick , bite and suck one more time
Ride and grind inside
Till you feel my walls close in
Around your dick
Right before the toe curls
Screams and moans
Before I lick you clean
Then cuddle you right on the floor
That fleeting moment of romance
In the aftermath
Where you wrap your arms round me
Staring out the sky light
Wrapped up in eachothers nakedness

I am

I am that annoying kid
Nobody understands
Loud outburst
Can't control my temper
I just want to punch somebody
A wall will do
I am the one that stands out loudly
Like won't he just go away
Won't she just vanish
I am the homeless man
Thrown off a bus for smelling funny
I am loud pop stars trying to make their
Outside look pretty
Yet there inside is ugly
I am hair weaves
I am spray on tan and silicone
I am the outcast
The strange looks
The whispers behind the back
I am silent cries in the night
Holding a razor blade
 To make it all stop
I am dank weed smoke
To chase ghosts away
I am creativity stifled by ignorant fucks
I am that freshman in highschool
The new person in town
I am everything right with the world
No second chances
Cause I can't buy a loan
On expired happiness
I am still holding onto that red balloon
Obliviously that my two feet aren't on the ground
I am fed up with the government
Yet I refuse to speak up
I am that mother in the welfare line you called a crack addict
When in reality I am homeless
I am humanity's funeral
I am killing my own kind
With every know hate crime known to mankind
Corporate Civil war
Silence the masses with toxic sin
So they can make us pray to their"god"
We can't even get peace of mind
Not even at christmas time
I am baby's dumped in dumpsters
Toilets and the side of the road
I am the cruel harshness of the world
Waking up knowing no one will ever give a  fuck
So why give a fuck about ourselves
I am lazy and self absorbed
Shy and disillusioned
I am hypocrisy
Golden rule thrown down the toilet
As we sit and watch everyone
Rob , steal and kill our little bit of heaven
I am suicide
Not screaming for help
Just can't take it anymore
Sick of shelling out money
To fund research for things
That should have been cured years ago
I am instant tv dinners and fast food
I am eyes bigger then the plate
Complaining while families
Are fighting for food and shelter
Down the street
I am America
I am wallstreet
All walks of life who
Wont unify
Cause of germs
We don't want to rub off on each other
Yet we don't want to be ourselves
I am multiple personality disorder
Schizophrenia and anorexia nervosa
Racism and homophobia
I am resurrected into some
Bride of Chuckie media monster
Love child of lindsey lohan and lady gaga
I am originality
Duplicate prints available at your local walmart
Clean up on aisle four
Total mental breakdown
Send us all to betty ford
Put draino in our coffee to slow us down
We haven't slept in 2 weeks
Since we found twitter
I am a survivor
Running up this hill called life
Unmoved by anything that would
Try and defeat me
I am
Pieces of a whole lot of nothing
Trying to hold it all together
Without snapping .......

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Still I fight

Your a bastard
Son goes in for a hug
Boot into the stomach
He looks up
Tears in 2 year old eyes
Speaking with out words
I wish I could tell her to stop having kids
Yet she has another on the way
She despises him cause
He looks like his deadbeat dad
He is paying the missing  child support check
With bruises and a broken spirit
He will never heal from
Now he feels unwanted
He doesn't sleep at night
Not cause of the monsters under the bed
But the monster inside of his head
Somewhere a six year old boy
Is being tucked into his final resting place
His murderer is his mom
Yet we won't know that for three days
He spent his last week sick
Sore throat
He spent his last days
Not knowing he was on his way
To heaven
He had his life ahead of him
His mom took it away
She cries she just wants to die
I just wish he could of lived
He had the same birthday as me
Cue back in on knocked up mom
Sitting at the bottom of the stairs
Gash in her head
He said he wouldn't
Now she's in labor
3 months early
She and the baby
Won't make it through the night
Let alone make it out of ICU
Two doors down a baby
Fights for her life
Her daycare worker shoved
Soiled  baby wipes down her throat
He sits in jail
While mother fights to keep her eyes open
She doesn't want to miss anything
Her fingers clenched to the call button
Four blocks away
A baby is being rushed to the hospital
Crack addict mother drugged him
Threw him out the window
Neighbor catch him
Dialed 911 with shaky hands
Kept composed as she asked for help
Kept composed even though she wanted to strangle his mom
Police stand off two doors down
Crack addict bitch didn't make it
Shot 13 times
To many sudden movements
I sit and stare at the sky
Past scars sit there and haunt me
I have flash back and demons
That could fill endless numbers of notebooks
Houses I've  been thrown out of
A heart that never heals
Love misrepresented
Faith shattered by misrepresentation of jesus
I am still afraid of the dark, loud noise and confrontation
I have live behind these walls as a victim for 29 years
Yet I am alive
Very much and I can't sit here
Watching another child die
In the hands of someone they trust
I was neglected and abandoned
Thrown away and fought for my life
Yet I survived
They did not
So still I fight............

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Obsessing over you- A Remy, Mija , Fab collabo


I don’t love you
I love you
I want to tie you up to my bed
And ride you
Deprive you
Make myself comfortable
While I twist on you.
I have been watching you for some time now,
I have been trying to figure out how
I don’t want to love you or to be in love with you
I just want to sin with you
Take you away from your wife
Make you forget your life
Just so you can
Stroke me right…
Hold me tight
Only for one night
Please don’t fight
I just want to sex you
Flex with you
I need you have to have
Snatch you up and grab you
I lust for you
Just for you
Make my dreams come true
For a moment or two
I don’t know how to love
Never really cared for it
I just want you between my thighs
So you can adore it
Mi amor it
I don’t want happily ever after
I want you to be my ass clapper
For this chapter
It doesn’t matter
Make it splatter.
You said you like it wetter
Trust me I am better
I can make u forget her
I just want to kiss
I am your mistress
Never to be dismissed
Please don’t resist
Just let me have you for this moment
Yes…just like this….

yes... i love your kiss.

but i hate your wife and kids.
but i love to see you happy...
it feels like narcotic bliss...

but while your wife was out at fitness..
your cousin saw your hit this...
and now he is a witness...
but i told him if he ran his lips
then i would leave him kidless..

but even a soul scorn as mine
can't put a hit upon a kid
but i wasn't takin' chances...
so i left his head split..
had him buried in a pit...
leaking a sickly, slow drip....

see how much i love you?
now your wife won't know,
unless you let guilt show...

...what's this i heard about me being just some "hoe"?
i thought...
... i thought...


you... you said you cared...
and for rejection... i am quite... ill-prepared...

**Mizz Fab**
and i am ill mentally
fifth of vodka
and i am traveling
down an abandoned road
mudd caked stillettos
dress dripping in blood
and i am draggin a shovel
what have i done
i loved you
past seduction
past candle lit dinners
fuck all that and fuck you
what am i going to do
i am already in hell
and i am running out of liquor
colapse in the middle of the highway
praying death will come quicker
convulsing and shaking
tears flood out my eye
my stomach is in nots
and i see you standing over me
but you are ghost
invading my concious
and i have to live with these regrets
i have to live
with these nightmares
and you took a piece of my soul
as i took your life
and now i lay in solitude
holding onto sanity
and the voices wont shut up

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Destroying Angels

Where were you
When they were destroying angels
Clipping wings off of them
Before they could form sentences
Before they could eat solid food
Where were you when they traded
Elementary school backpacks
For lip smackers and short shorts
Tuck them into bed with stories
Of safety
While you watched lullabies of war on tv
When did we get so obsessed with money
When did we get do obsessed with violence
We would ignore the cries of angels
As their wings got separated from flesh
We are ripping innocence
From them , like baby teeth
Learning to suck up spilled milk
Cause it cost too much to clean it up
A bruise , a broken bone
A trip down the stairs
A walk into the door
She's so clumsy
Hoping to god she don't walk away
18 with a gun in her hand
Cocked to her head
Cause all she wanted to do was
Shut people up
Yet mama is a drunk
Daddy's too busy dodging beer bottles
When he comes home from destroying other angels
She just wishes she could of told them
Before she found smack
Found jesus
Found smack again
Then took 12 steps to find Jesus again
She had told them
That even if angel wings are ripped off
They can still fly
A little
She puts down the gun
She paces back and forth
She's twenty stories up
She cries into the night
She jumps

Love Train

I was headed to the subway
I was headed to the pathway
I was headed to the stairway
through mazes
through tunnels
Anyway I could get
I was being sent messages
Some force was pulling at me
My senses where telling me
If I just follow the yellow brick road
I'd find everything I ever looked for
At that moment
All I needed was unclear
Yet my legs couldn't stop moving
Faster through fields
Faster uphill ,through winding mountains
Heart burning, beating in anxiety
I traveled through the forest deep
Till I was alone with my thoughts
I collapsed in exhaustion
Screaming to the heavens
As if begging them
To reveal their mysteries to me
The loneliness sank in
As I lay their cold
Shut off completely
That's when I felt him
I felt him strong as the wind
Circling around me
Strong as the heart beat in my chest
I lifted my head
He was dark , almost shadowy
Almost abrasive but as soon as
His hand reached out for mine
I knew trust
Heart still beating
The sun beamed down on me
I felt embraced by this stranger
He spoke poems without speaking
He healed with out potion
My emotions whirred
Then slowed down
He was a mind whisperer
In his calm
Pieces fell together
In his calm I felt at home
He was taking me to find love
It wouldn't be easy
10,585 days had decomposed my structure
I was an abandoned ship
Yet I felt the transformation
As we moved faster nearing our destination
we traveled days and nights
On bus , on train and plains till
We drove a rental car to philly
And he showed me love
The sculpture was just that but
With the whirring and hums of passing cars
I blocked out the world
Till I could only love myself
And when I could only hear my heart beating
I looked up and the shadow man
Had disappeared................

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


She died last night
Fell into the shadows
Never to speak again
She never exist
At least to them
An out cast
Trying to paint sunshine
With black
She wished for color
But she is dead
And lives in shadows
She stopped breathing
All those hateful things
Ate her alive
And she believed it
Built a house out of those lies
And let the walls
Crush her bones into dust
So she can start again
But she will never see the sun rise
She is too focused on this darkness
To find her true skin
She lives in me
She lives in you
Through broken homes
Broken spirits
Lies and deception
That knife in her back belong
To you and me
We feel the sting
Now we must heal her
She is a candle flicker
We must  bring her to the light
She is looking for acceptance
In a world that has put a toe tag on her
Labeled her as dead
Silenced her voice
Pushed her inside herself
Yet one day she will roam free
Her sunshine will be bright purple
And she will feel a hundred
Hands heal her
Heal her with words
And she will know
She was put here for a reason
\And as her lungs fill
With the most amazing air
She hugs her chest
Staring at the sky
She heres the world
Around her
Trying to push her
Six feet deep
With renewed strength
She paints herself in the universe
Allowing herself to truly exist
Moving full speed ahead
She is truly alive today
She is no longer a victim
She is no longer death
Traded the black
For rainbows
She no longer exist in
She's in love with the sky
Moving light speed
She's lives to tell her story
She lives so someone else wont die....